Monday, January 11, 2016

Baby Steps

Some people would say I've "fallen off the wagon," or "cheated," or maybe even "given up." But I call it baby steps.

I'm learning that I need to do this my way. I need to take it one day at a time. No, I'm not a big fan of all of the ___ anonymous stuff being  that is is so religion based. But it's true. Take baby steps.
So here's what happened.

Thursday I had sushi. Had a little dessert with it. Froday, I had ramen and a beer. Then ice cream. But both of those days I did really well during the day. I'm OK with that. Saturday I had a BPC in the mooring and wasn't hungry until like 4pm. I made some low  carb biscuit muffins. Ate when I was hungry etc. Sunday I didn't eat much either not so hungry. But I had cookies and popcorn.

No, I wasn't on plan 20 carbs or less everyday. But you know what? I was still way under the amount of carbs I would have typically eaen in a day. Plus, I had NO WHEAT aside from maybe the cookies last night. This is BIG!

No I haven't been the best with sugar. I need to work on it. But I cannot let myself get all emotionally unstable and looking like a drug addict because of it. It's baby steps.

So that's where things stand. I'm still on tis journey. It IS a journey, not a whirlwind. I'm taking it day by day and I'm excited to do so.

Friday, January 8, 2016

Day Three I Caved

I did pretty decently with my food throughout the day. I was really feeling the emotional sugar withdrawals though. I also had a horrible upset stomach. TMI alert I was in the bathroom most of the day. I left work early to get rest and get myself together.

I went on a date last night for dinner. He wanted to try a sushi place I was talking about before I changed my eating. It was too soon. I ate sushi, with rice had a beer and worst of all I had a cream puff for dessert.

Now I know I can't beat myself up on it. I'm back to plan today. But this brought up some thoughts about food and relationships I wanted to talk about.

The guy I went out with was concerned that I was giving up sugar and wheat. He said to me how I need to taper off of it and when I explained I was changing my way of eating he tells me there's nothing wrong with me and I'm pretty how I am.

On the surface I'm like "OMG this guy is so damn sweet!!!" I've spent most of my life fat and  had guys tell me "You'd be so pretty if you'd lose weight." or "You have such a pretty face." So having a guy actually like me for me was like whoa.

But honestly I have to explain this. It's not about pretty. It's not about looking good (it's a nice side effect I'm not going to lie) It's about health. For the longest time I have eaten so many horrible things that aren't good for me. Even after being diagnosed with diabetes I still ate sugar. I just didn't care. But I can't do that anymore. I've already got an eye condition, I don't need to make it any worse.

So I am going to talk to him next time I see him. I'm going to explain that I am carb intolerant and allergic to sugar. I'm going to explain my health and what runs in my family. If after all of that he can't deal oh well. It's just how I have to be. In many cases I have be like "It's not all about me." But with this? It's totally all about me.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Day Two An Emotional Mess

So day two has gone down in the books. I did great with my food. But the sugar cravings were something fierce!

I spent most of the day in a brain fog that couldn't lift. By the end of the day I wanted to cry at everything. By the time I got home I wanted to hulk smash rage on everyone and everything.

I immediately started asking some of the groups I am in about this. I'd never experienced anything like that. My emotions and moods weren't even this bad when I quit smoking!!! Everyone told me that this was normal and would pass.

I have to say that the support from the keto community is amazing. I am in a couple of Facebook groups and they are the most motivational! When I am home and not under the block of work computer from the social media I'll link them.

Tomorrow aside from my day 3 recap I will be listing some of the resources that have helped me get to the point of starting this woe and have helped me out so much through starting. I'll also be back with a recipe or two!

We can do this!

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Day One Reboot

Day 1 went quite well. Actually, better than expected. I'm impressed.
I started my day with a bullet proof coffee
  • 1 TBSP Coconut Oil
  • T TBSP Butter
  • Non Sugar Sweetener
When I got to work I had 2 eggs wit h2 baby bella mushrooms and 2 sausage links.

2 chicken thighs and a green salad for lunch

Pork chop and mashed cauliflower for dinner.

Snacks included 2 string cheese and some walnuts. Also had some macadamia nuts.

While I was working on dinner last night I felt the first signs of sugar withdrawal. I was cranky AF.  Had to warn my roommate that if I bite his head off it's because of that.

I found that while I was making diner I didn't lose my shit while making rice for my roommate. I wasn't starving and had no desire to even "taste for quality control purposes." This is a big step for me.

Not much else to admit here. I really need to work on meal planning and making sure dishes are done in time for me to cook the next meal as to avoid a freakout/meltdown and eating something not healthy.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Where Is Amber

So I haven’t really posted here since 2013. A lot has happened. After my last post I visited California for the birth of my nephew. My whole eating plan went out the window. Surrounded with junk food, happy hour and carbs in general I couldn’t take it. I caved.
I got back on the wagon for a few weeks when I got back but went back off plan for good in January of 2014 when I started hanging out with my soon to be new (and then ex) roommate.
So where does this leave me?
I’ve gained almost 30 pounds since that time. I’ve regained my sugar addiction, I’ve not paid a scrap of attention to anything regarding my eating.
Unil today. This is day one. Not atkins but a basic keto way of eating.
No more than 20 carbs per day and most of my calories coming from good fats.
I will do this! I have to. I cannot keep going the way I am going. I am now diabetic and need to get this under control. The eye doctor has noticed diabetic issues with my eyes. I’m already blind enough I don’t need to make it any worse!
So I’ll be posting every day to every other day with my feelings and thoughts along the way.
I’m back bitches!

Friday, October 11, 2013

Two Weeks On Induction

I have been on Atkins for 2 weeks.  I have completed the required 2 weeks of induction. I’ve come to a few decisions.
I will continue on induction for at least another week. I don’t feel I have controlled my eating enough to come off into a more liberal phase of the plan. I still crave sweets and crunchy salty things. I also still overeat in my opinion. I am definitely still working on my self control. I think with a little more induction I can rein this in. Given the fact that I will be leaving for California next week I think if I can stay on induction my first few days staying with the family I can control myself through anything.
I have learned a lot so far. I know that I can adapt almost any recipe. I also know that the adapted recipe is NOT going to tast like the real high carb thing. I’m okay with that. As long as I don’t feel deprived I know I’m doing things right.
My next challenge is not being whiny when my friends on pinterest post all their high carb pins. I’m going to start trying to remake them to low carb. I’ll post my results on the blog for sure.
I am still keeping up on the every other day walking a mile. I hope that after that next month I can be up to 2 miles. Then  slowly progress to the point where I can do the zombie 5k app!
So, here’s to another 2 weeks on induction!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Learning to Like To Cook

Ever since I could remember I have hated to cook. Not only did I hate it I sucked at it.
Every time I would hit the kitchen there was sure to be a disaster! Burned, under cooked, stuff falling on the floor, you name it I’ve had it happen.
It was even to the point that my last room mates cooked for me because they’d seen what a kitchen horror I was. It was quite embarrassing. I was that girl who always brought the utensils to potlucks. Or I’d go to the store and buy chips and salsa. Because even the act of making salsa was too complicated for me. Sadly I just looked lazy.
I started cooking for myself again when I moved to Portland in July. I could make passable food. I didn’t burn everything. I didn’t under cook anything either. I even made bread. But I still just wasn’t feeling it.
Until I started eating low carb!!!
Here is my week in food….

This week alone I have made pizza crust and a sandwich muffin without carbs. I made rice out of cauliflower and a pork steak.
I won’t lie, I have had some kitchen fails. Bacon wrapped chicken thighs? Crappy bacon and bone in thighs were not a winning combination. Everything ended up soggy, it was edible though. Pepperoni chips in the oven? Yeah I set off my smoke detector. Also pepperoni doesn’t look burned even when it is.
I’ve burned myself a couple times, dropped things and otherwise made a mess but I have fed myself healthy real food for almost 2 weeks. I feel really good about that! I may not be an uber chef. I am not even saying I like cooking all the time. But I can do it. I can feed myself and others.
I can’t wait until I move on to OWL and can start cooking other types of food. Things that anyone I cook for would love to eat.
Tomorrow I will post the results of my induction phase and friday look for a recipe!